One of the greatest lessons we can give our children is to be resilient. One of the most important things that can we do as parents is to create a MINDSET of “yes you can” for our kids. This starts early on with us listening and guiding them every step of the way. A mindset is extremely important since it creates the foundation for how far your child will go to succeed.
“YES YOU CAN?”
Yes, you can! As a parent, it is extremely important to understand that our mindset establishes how our children understand failure. Stanford University conducted a recent research study on the “mindset” of a parent and their kid’s failure.
“How would you react if your child came home with a D on a test?”
Sometimes our children may not do well in school because they don’t understand the teacher, the material, or emotionally something is bothering them. It’s important to understand that the way we handle failure with our children can help provide a path to their future success.
Your Reaction to the “D” will influence your child’s ability to learn math.
Think back to how you did in school and your parents reaction to when you failed. The “YES YOU CAN” mindset is important to counteract a mental block. In other words, if you react in a negative way about the “D” it may cause your child to think that they can no longer be good at doing math. The study also found that the way a child thought of themselves as being “smart” was directly related to how the parent reacted to the “D” on the math test. The research further found that children created their own beliefs about their own intelligence based on their parent’s reaction to failure.
What is a Parent to do?
Make the failure a life lesson. Ask your child what they learned from the quiz? As parents, we need to focus on the lesson.
When your child fails, or has a setback in school it is important to do the following:
1. Sit and ask your child what was the lesson they learned from the failure or setback. It may be that they did not understand the material, did not study or need extra help with the subject matter.
2. Reach out to the teacher. Make an appointment with the teacher to find out what is going on. Does your child seem to be having difficulty or was this an isolated incident?
What is very important as a parent to understand is that the belief that our children create will follow them through life. Think about it, how many of us are still counteracting the failures and situations that we went through as kids now in our adult life? I have a friend who is terrified of public speaking because she had a horrible experience doing a presentation in 5th grade.
Make it a life lesson. Talk to the teacher. Create a positive mindset. Become a coach, and be supportive and allow your child the autonomy to begin to take responsibility with the “Yes I Can”, attitude.
Cheli Cerra is a Child Success Expert and Parent Strategist she works with moms to create a lifestyle of academic and emotional wellness for their kids. She is a published author, education expert on Fox News, award-winning school principal, and mom. She is currently working on her seventh book, Seven Steps to Fail-Proof Your Child.